Crossfit Training- a training method that was invented by a dude called Greg Glassman. I am pretty sure he does not like humans. It is a workout that includes weightlifting, high-intensity interval training, gymnastics, plyometrics and many more workouts I have no clue of.

But what had brought me to the point to work out at 9am on a Saturday morning, whilst I was chilling on a tropical island?

Here we go:It had all started so nicely. I had met my friend Ash from Australia, whom I hadn’t seen for almost six years. We found a nice place to stay in Canggu, Bali: a temple-like house with some apartments to be rented.

There were trees and butterflies all around the property and a pool in the middle. Slow Balinese music was playing in the background. As it had 35°C with a humidity of > 80% the pool looked quite inviting to jump in.

I got into my bikini, but what was that?! It did not fit! It must have shrunk in the washing machine, I thought, until I realised I had not washed it. DAMN YOU CHRISTMAS! This was not good. This was actually more than bad as soon as I saw the reflection of myself in the apartment windows.

Holy motherfucking *$#*/?§ …

Alright. We can fix this I thought. It won’t be happening within the next few days, but it is definitely improvable. I jumped into the pool, paddled around a bit and made a plan to get rid of those wobbly parts that definitely should not be there. I switched on maps.me, a genius App, that lets you use maps without any internet connection, and saw that there was a CrossFit place just around the corner. I drove there with my scooter and signed up for a course starting the following day in the morning.

“I have no sports clothes and no shoes to train with, is that a problem?”, I asked.

“No no, that’s totally fine,” the happy island person answered.

Alright.

Next morning I woke up and damn yes, I had overslept. 20 minutes to go, this was just enough time for a coffee, but no breakfast. What would I wear?

I put on some black leggings and my grey sleeping shirt. Well I did not put on the second one, but anyways I was set.Ready for Crossfit. I tied my hair back, grabbed my microfiber travel towel, slipped into my Chucks, quickly sipped on my coffee and drove to the Crossfit place.

Yes, I drove there.

I paid for my class (200000 Rupiah/day) and walked inside. Everyone was so beautiful. Like, beyond beautiful and so damn ripped! They were all wearing the newest sports clothes and had the best tan you can imagine. I had no shoes, was wearing old sloppy leggings and my sleeping shirt.

Yes.

Everyone was so happy and excited to start with sports- I only had one coffee.

I lined up between the other twenty-five people and watched the trainers write the workout on the board:

800m RUN

150 WALLBALLS

600m RUN

50-40-30-20-10

SIT UPS & DOUBLE UNDERS

400m RUN

21-18-15-12-9-6-3

DB SNATCH

200m RUN

100 PULL UPS

100 PUSH UPS

100 NEVER REACHED THAT STAGE

HA! Well, I am going to die for sure. Why the hell did I sign up for that?

Alright I can do that, I thought. I won’t see these people ever again. Plus they are busy with their own world, which would not include thinking about me longer than some minutes.

This is good – I can do this!

“PARTNER SATURDAY” I heard them shout.

Partner, what the fuck what?? Oh no, please no, I don’t have a partner! Don’t have me team up with a ripped one….

“Hey, do you have a partner already? My girlfriend ….”

“Ehhm no, yes, we can…”

“Hiiiii, how much do you lift?” the skinny girl asked me.

“Eeehm … I don’t know…” (I figured saying one would sound weird)

S I L E N C E

“Well, maybe you find someone…”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll find someone else!” I replied walking towards the trainers.

They found me a Crossfit partner: a nice girl who had been injured. Hahaha alright. This is good. We started to talk and found out that she lived just 30 minutes away from my hometown in Germany. She helped me through the workout and had a smile on her face the whole time. This was nice. The workout was not. Damn everything hurt and as soon as it was done, the running part began. That was hard! Chucks are not the best shoes to run with. But as every challenging workout, it is really effective, so I was happy to do it.

The trainer came to us, while I made my share of sit ups, when I saw her shaking her head at him saying “this is terrible”.

Oh damn!! That was referred to me. What the fuck, giiiiiirl. I thought you were nice!

Whilst I finished the painful sit-ups I remembered being stuck on a road in Germany. The  driver in front of me was slow as hell and I cursed that car so much! Until I saw the “Driving Beginner” sign. Well, yeah, that explained a lot. Had it calmed me down? Nope, not really. The person was still slow as fuck. You accept it, but you actually don’t want to drive behind. Then I understood her.

By the end of the workout I passed two ripped guys climbing up ropes, others doing push ups, others setting up an indoor parkour and I thought that one day I will do exactly the same. But for now, I am the slow one with the tomato head, haha.

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