I I opened my eyes. The bed sheets were really comfortable. One of those feathery badass ones that make you want to stay in bed all day long. The crying eyes of my Mom made me want to leave this bed pretty quickly.

The lights were too bright.

A nurse was walking past my bed – my parents smiled at me with sad eyes.

I fucked up- I thought. I had done something REALLY bad. I had seen those faces before. There you go … Some serious conversation is going to happen. Where is the door? I couldn’t get up …

Mooom! Aaaargh! Stop crying!! What’s the problem?

Less did I know that it was me who was the problem. Neither did I remember the ambulance, nor the hospitals and the CTs I had been put through.

“Do you know where you are?”

“I was just in Bali and now I am in a German hospital? This does not make any sense”

Mom, who is that weird guy in the corner staring at me?

“You don’t remember?”

No, I didn’t.

Neither did I remember that I had just recently won a trip to Thailand that was about to start in 2 weeks.

“Who wins a trip to Thailand- this is not real”, I keep repeating.

Apparently I had been repeating everything. Every 5 minutes I had been asking the same questions over and over again.

Apparently I had at least been 10 times that excited about the news of me winning a trip to Thailand. Had I not just been to Bali? And now Thailand that quickly after? That sounded awesome! Where was the problem?! Why was my Mom crying?

Ah yes… my head … something was kind of wrong here, though I could not really remember. I had to tell Sebastian, my best friend.

“I need to call him- where is my phone?”

My phone was not there, but the smiling guy in the corner handed me his.

“Hi SEEEEBASTIAN! You know what just ….”

“DENISE!! Please- I have to work”

Wait what?! Did he just … no he did not just …

I called again …

“Denise, I know. I will be there after work and you have called me so many times already. It’s okay. I’ll be there.”

The nice guy in the corner handed me a yellow note he had written:

FR 24.06.2011

  • Sebastian will be there this evening after work
  • You have called him already
  • It’s the snail’s fault
  • Call the travel agency today
  • Sebastian brings your mobile phone and charger

 

Ah yeah! The first two points totally make sense, I thought. Hahaha. I now also remembered having him write down the snail thing and some memory flashes appeared:

Me and a friendly guy are on the bikes near a small fountain on our way up a steep hilly road. Clouds are coming up and it’s starting to rain. “Do you still want to ride or shall we go back,” he asks me. “Let’s throw a coin,” I reply. He looks familiar.

The coin says NO.

I say YES.

So we go on with our bikes. It is hard to get up as it is really steep and I can still feel my hangover from last night. I’m pushing my way up the hill and then EEEEW … I ride over a snail!! Right through the middle!!! Oh no!!! WHY!! Poor snail! Damn it!!

The friends of me who also ride Downhill always kept saying never to ride over the small forest creatures. Always, always go around them. Killing them will bring bad luck … Well snail! As you were even slower than me on this road neither of us had been that lucky.

Damn it!

I don’t know where my parents had gone or if this piece of memory had happened before they were in hospital, but I find myself walking out of the door into the hallway. A quite nervous but friendly looking nurse runs towards me and ties some kind of white ugly bracelet around my wrist. I tell her that I had forgotten which door I had come out. She smiled at me and pointed at the white wristband I was now wearing.

Awesome! My room number is on there. I promised to get back into my room and went on walking along the hallway.

“Why am I in hospital? I need Internet!” I figured.

Somehow I asked my way through several hallways and doors and reached a room that had a lot of computers in it. Funny how you can hit your head really hard, but still remember your Facebook Password.

I logged in and clicked on Messages. OH MY GOD! Who were those people? Some of them I had been writing with, I had never seen before! I read through the messages and though I couldn’t remember all of them, I knew it had been me who had written those replies. I laughed at some things I had answered whilst I was reading my life backwards.

What had happened? Some accident …

I am in the middle of the forest. There’s a small trail in front of me. Whilst I look down I am removing my arm protection. I look like a robot with my Downhill Gear.

There’s a guy on my left. He looks like a robot too. I like him. He looks worried. He is pushing two bikes down the trail.

“HEY! Why are you pushing my bike!? Why are we in the forest? And who are you?”

The friendly guy from the hospital patiently answers my questions whilst I look around in the forest.

Back in my hospital bed. I could see the guy from the forest and my best friend, who had brought me my mobile phone. They were talking about me in the third person. I had apparently high-fived the guys from the ambulance asking them about my jump. They had laughed saying I would never remember them. I had been brought to two hospitals where my brain had been checked. I suffered from severe amnesia which made me repeat everything. This was said to be normal, but the doctor couldn’t say for sure if I would ever fully recover.

“Interesting”, I thought. Of course I will recover! I wasn’t worried about that one.

“What can you remember”, they asked me.

I am in the middle of the forest. There’s a small trail in front of me.

There’s a guy on my right. He looks worried. He is pushing two bikes down the trail.

“HEY! Why are you pushing my bike!? Why are we …”

  • “I am pushing your bike, because you had an accident, we are in a forest because we are on a downhill tour in Heidelberg, I am Yannick.”

“WOOOOW” YOU can predict the future! Awesome! I was just about …”

  • “I know. You keep repeating yourself, because you had hit your head after falling off the bike. You had an accident, Denise”

The magician knows my name. The forest is pretty dark, I can see some clouds behind the trees.

“I am dreaming- right?”

  • “No, you had an accident, Denise. You’re not dreaming.”

“Yeah!! That is EXACTLY what people always say in dreams.”

 

“I remember the forest,” I said. “I guess I had an accident”. The doctor came in and introduced himself as the chief physician. He looked stressed. He didn’t seem to have much time, but managed to smile with some kind of dead eyes. That was weird. I wanted him to leave. “Good evening, I see you have woken up. How do you feel?” he asked me.

“Fine. I’m fine. I guess”. I meant it. Hadn’t I just won a trip to Thailand, how could I not be?

He took some notes in his smart book. Without looking up he asked me “What is your name and what is the date today?”

“Denise…” I replied whilst pulling out my yellow cheat sheet … “FRIDAY the 24th Twothousandeleven”, I said proudly. My friend opened his mouth to protest, but the doctor had already walked towards the door saying “I guess you are ready to go home then!”

“Noooo!!! She was reading the …” He protested whilst I was laughing!

Ready to go home, I thought with a big smile on my face. I guess I have to pack my bags soon …

 

 

WHO AM I?

Leave a Reply