CHRONICLES IN WONDERLAND

You might expect an article here that tells you how much it costs to travel the world. But this is not something I want to talk about here.

I am talking about the emotional gains and costs of being constantly abroad and how these long-term travels can affect ones perception of traveling.

CHRONICLES IN WONDERLAND

I have been traveling for most of my life.

It started with holidays as a kid,

where my parents showed me various places in Europe,

different cultures and landscapes, I had never seen before.

I remember a moment we went to Italy and I spend some time in the ocean with Italian school kids. I was about 6 or 7.  I did not speak a word Italian, but my parents insisted that I should go and try. They said they were right over there and they were. So I talked to the kids in the water with hand and feet, learned some words and felt fine.

I had never been a social kid that had no problems talking to other kids. I have always been a scared one. 

“What do I say?”

“How do I act?”

“Will they like me?”

This was me and I’ve come a long way.

I forced myself to be more social. “Fake it until you make it”.

I am actually very good at it now. But it has not always been like that.

Traveling helped me grow as a person. It made me more self-confident. It showed me appreciation of people who haven’t traveled that much. 

I can’t count how many times people have told me how brave I was.

Maybe I am. I don’t know.

What does it mean to be brave?

I guess it is to be scared of something and do it anyways, because maybe you feel that it can make you grow and it is good for you.

But am I brave traveling or am I running away from myself?

It definitely does not scare me at all. Does that make me brave? I guess not.

Being brave is subjective. Some things I do might appear to be brave to the ones who haven’t dared to do it yet, but this doesn’t mean I am.

Some of my best friends at home are having kids now. Kids I know from a WhatsApp picture on my mobile screen. My friends cannot travel the world as I do. Some of them follow my blog and tell me that they see what they cannot have at the moment.

Would they give up what they have for my way of life? 

No.

And that’s good. Having a family is awesome. 

I miss mine. 

I miss my mom complaining about my clothing style, secretly throwing away my shoes. Miss her style of fashion and me stealing stuff out of her wardrobe. Miss my dad with his pendulum sitting on the couch being spiritual and I miss my crazy uncle who taught me how to ski by pulling me along with a jeep; my relatives who passed away whilst I was abroad and the whole rest of my family who is still there, but yet so far away.

Ooooh and I do miss my car!!! I miss my jeep … well, not the countless speeding tickets (not kidding there were more than 50…) , but this car is amazing! It even has built in honks that play ice-cream music- it’s hilarious!

jeep

It’s the small things, but yet those are the ones that matter.

Life is about choices. Choices you make and even if you do not choose to do anything – it is still a choice!

You just need to know who you are and why you choose the way you life.

Are you happy? Does this life fulfil you?

Am I happy? Does this life fulfil me? 

If you answer those questions with “yes” – you might be on the right path. Then better be damn happy about it 🙂

The lives of others is not yours! There is absolutely no reason to compare yourself with anyone. 

It is much more about how grateful you are for what you have, instead of focusing on what you don’t.

And at the moment I kind of think that traveling makes me so happy, but I am not sure if these constant travels, that make me be so far away from friends and family, is what makes me happy in the long run.

CHRONICLES IN WONDERLAND

I actually quit my job. I don’t know what to do after December 2018.

I probably have heaps of money paid out, so I am basically free to do anything I want – at least for a bit. 

And I am not sure what to do with that.

As much as I love traveling, I have to admit that it can get lonely sometimes. Not that I do not meet new people – quite the opposite – but I do not meet friends anymore, that have known me for years. There’s just no time, hahaha. My besties at home have either known me my whole life or for more that 6 years (with exceptions). They have been through different stages in my life (kindergarden, high school, university…) and have a spectrum of my craziness. They are my reminder of who I am. 

And isn’t that what friends are?

(By the way there are not enough pictures on my laptop of all of you, but this article would be too long anyways hahah)

I have made beautiful friends here in São Paulo and I will miss them dearly, but do they know the real me? I guess they know quite a lot, but also only a small percentage of the package – good or bad, hahaha. They don’t know my other friends and can’t know my family or how I was like when I was 16.

Is that important? I don’t know, but experience binds you together and makes the connection stronger. It feels more like home and I miss mine.

Some people have a partner to go through life with them. 

I do not need that, but maybe I want it. Maybe I want it, because I have been so far away from home. I am thinking whether I might want to kind of settle though. Be closer to my family – be home somewhere.

And at the same time I want to write more blog entries and I want to fly my drone more, I want to jump in waterfalls and I want to be free. 

And at the same time I want to jump in waterfalls and share that experience with someone, I want to be free with someone else and I want to share my happiness with someone else.

Or damn!! Get my f**** friends to finally come and travel with me!

You probably can’t have it all and the cost of traveling, as much as it forms your character, is an expensive one as you are not being part of the life you were used to.

This might actually be a bit costly for now or maybe two years in Brazil have just been a little bit too long to be so far away.

I guess I have to go home and settle for a while,

but maybe, maybe not just yet . .  .


CHRONICLES IN WONDERLAND

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