I will never learn how to pronounce this one, but the Chatuchawhat?! Chatuchak Market is one of the biggest animal markets in Thailand. Right in the middle of Bangkok it is as dodgy as it sounds. You can see almost every little creature caged up ready to be sold to stupid people who don’t give a fuck.

From the cutest sugar gliders to squirrels, birds and turtles. You can buy anything you want. The smell is exactly as you would imagine it to be with thousands of caged up animals in a humid climate.

We walked through the market in pouring rain- in flip-flops. My friend ahead of me, impatiently grouching about us for being so slow. Hahaha damn! It was raining and we were walking through warm water in flip-flops, hahaha. Everything was flooded and it took us about 20 minutes to stop giving a fuck about our feet swimming in brown water. But not her- she was the Thai Jesus walking through the puddles as if they were clouds.

After some more toe torture and even more animals we decided to get a facial treatment to feel kind of clean again, when Karma hit me…

Aaaah damn, maybe, just maybe I should have set some of those poor sugar gliders free. I had not and the sugar glider god god was revenging my camera pointing at his folks by giving me the Facial Treatment Bitch!

Seriously! I always seem to get the angry Thais! After the Old Massage Lady it was now the Facial Torture Lady. Damn she was raging! I lay down on the plank with a bad feeling in my stomach. I could see my friend right next to me with a huge smile on her face while the cute Thai girl of hers started to massage some cream in her face. Mine was wiping some warm tincture on my face to then throw cucumbers on my eyes.

Yeah thanks for that! I have read cucumbers ….

Eeeeeew!!! A stinky old towel is put over my face!! Those old ones you forgot to wash and then accidentally use to wipe your face dry! Yeah, exactly one of those!! Aaaargh- I tried to remove it, but torture lady had another plan.

“NO, NO, NO!” she said.

“Alright”, I answered

Just don’t kill me with your torture towel. Damn!! I hated it!! I moved my head to the right and could see a little bit of my friend who got her feet massaged by her cute Thai girl!! What the…. !!! I want that, too!!

No, not for me! My treatment was rubbing the towel over my face! And, no I am not kidding!!! She was rubbing that damn stinky towel over my face until all the lotion was gone. And then she worked her way towards my face with a … WAIT WHAT?!

NEEEEEDLE!

She used a needle to remove some pimples that were still dormant under (!) my skin!! Oh holy shit!! This was as terrible as it sounds. I thought she would kill me!!

She did not. With a red face I walked towards the counter to pay for my torture treatment and angrily walked out of the spa, Thai Jesus right next to me with a huge smile on her face.

“Great- right!

– Yeah … let’s just never talk about it again.

Thailand is crazily interesting. There is so much to see and plenty of landmarks to visit. Have you been yet? What was your favourite place to go?a

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